What I learned from Kindergarten Graduation

As I am writing this I am holding back tears because yesterday was Grayson's kindergarten graduation. I learned so much in two hours that I had no idea I needed to learn. It was eye awakening for me. You know how you have those moments in life where you finally get it. That was yesterday for me.

We walked into the school and headed toward the sanctuary where the ceremony was going to be held. We walked past the super cute art projects that the kids have done. We had gotten there early because my husband is always early to everything. But because we got there early we were able to get the cutest photo of Grayson by his artwork. Little did we know this was going to be the last photo before a major meltdown. As more and more people started to fill the lobby and the snapping of photos began something switched in him. He was no longer smiley, but became instantly shy and didn't want to talk or do anything. We tried to get him into a group photo with his classmates and that is when the big tears started to flow and he clung to Jason as if his life depended on it. They left to find a quiet place and I quickly followed. At this point, I'm not going to lie, I was embarrassed. I didn't want to be the mom who had the kiddo with a major meltdown. But as I walked to where they were and I saw how scared he really was a lightbulb switched inside of me and at that moment I realized who the hell cared what anyone else thinks I needed to be there for my kiddo! I walked in and started crying with him.

I wiped away his tears and we talked about what was going on. We found out that he was nervous and scared because there were so many people all around him and he didn't want to take any photos. So we promised the rest of the time none of us would take out our phones. Now as a photographer at heart this was super hard for me, but again it's not about me. This helped him realize that we are here for him and that is all that was important.

We walked out of that room and my heart was breaking for him. I know what it's like to be that nervous and it sucks! And the worst part is he is still so young that he is still learning how to express himself. What I saw as a meltdown, was fear at the core of it.

Everyone starts to go into the auditorium and I'm out with his class as they are lining up because he is clinging onto me. I tried giving him a pep talk and trying all the little techniques to help him, but what it came to was when I knelt down next to him and I told him what I tell him every morning before he leaves my car. Grayson, you are brave, you are strong and you are confident. I told this to him twice and he started to take deep breaths and I told him that whatever he decides to do I was ok with it. I reassured him we can sit in the back and watch if he wanted to. He said, "Mommy, I want to be with my class." That's when one of his classmates said as they started walking toward the door, "Grayson, I believe in you, you can do this!" You want to talk about a momma who wanted to cry, that was the sweetest moment I hope I never forget.

He looked at her smiled, took a huge deep breath and walked over to his teacher, and held her hand. As I backed away slowly, that little girl looked back at me and gave me two thumbs up, and mouthed, "He's got this." I cried all the way to my seat.

That is what we need more in this world is kids cheering and encouraging each other when they are afraid. We need to be lifting each other up and telling someone we believe in them and they can do what frightens them. My hope by writing this is that we can learn from these amazing kindergarteners that it is ok to be afraid and melt down, but at the same time be brave and let go of our fear so that we can truly enjoy that feeling that comes after. That feeling of I DID IT!! I conquered that fear! The feeling of being so proud of what you just did. I know for this momma, I have never been so proud of my little boy!!!!!!

Below are the two photos I got yesterday. :)

Always Smile,

Michelle